Make Dua My Hot Fantasy....
Now accepting submissions for the up-and-coming, haramical (haram + comical) zine: Make Dua My Hot Fantasy....
If you haven't read up on the NAK scandal, you can do so here!
The theme is exposing Muslim fuckboys.
If that is too vague of a descriptor, here is some clarification: topics can range from critiquing celebrity sheikh culture, sharing personal stories and experiences with harassment and/or assault, and dealing with rape culture at the intersection (thanks Kimberlé Crenshaw) of race and religion (specifically Islam).
Artists must identify to some degree as a Muslim (practising, culturally, ethnically, ex-Muslim, etc, etc) and create work based on personal experiences (not telling someone else's story/speaking for another group of people). This blog reserves the right to not include all artwork submitted.
This is intended to be a physical zine that can be printed out and distributed, but if enough submissions are made, it can become a series, or a digital zine. I am looking forward to collaborating with other Muslim artists, please circulate the link and SUBMIT HERE!
Submissions will close January 20th, 2018.
Reflections on NAK
Last month, the NAK scandal rocked the Muslim community, splitting us into camps of believers, non-believers, and confused third-partiers who had never heard of the celebrity sheikh before. I held my tongue, not because I didn’t believe the accusations, but because I wasn’t sure where my place was in this conversation. I spend a lot of time thinking about the space I occupy and take up, how necessary my voice is in certain situations, if what I have to say hasn’t already been said or if I’m the one who needs to say it.
If you don’t know what the NAK scandal is, this article does a pretty good job of outlining it, though I do not agree with the conclusion of it. This blog takes the position that you should name abusers, and also discourage people from working with, or consuming work of, abusers.
I will admit though, even after working extensively during my undergrad in the Women and Gender Resource Centre and now fully entrenched in the always-believe-the-survivor mentality, I took some time to privately grieve. Not because Khan was, in any way, a role model I didn’t want to believe had harmed the long list of women stepping forward, or even someone I was tangentially invested in. Sure, I knew of him, had attended many of his lectures, my father had a few on audio cassette (remember those?); it was hard to live in Texas and not be aware of his presence, thanks to things like the Texas Dawah Convention. No, it was more a moment of reflection of what Khan represented. The sheikhs we were supposed to look up to and admire and strive to emulate – our own modern-day tabi3een. And it was also a reflection of another man entirely.
I am excited to announce that I am being onboarded as a sex educator with o.School! This is a very exciting process, and I'm looking forward to joining the awesome team Andrea Barrica has created.
I intend to continue my journey in making sex education as accessible as possible to my target communities. Ease of access is important in ensuring that all folks can join the discussion. When I originally saw Andrea Barrica’s Medium post, I initially was skeptical, because I found sex positivity to be largely exclusionary of the communities I’m trying to reach.
The more I read, though, the more I realised her vision was actually very similar to my thesis at Howard University, and how much I wanted to be a part of that vision. I quickly contacted her, and then later met her at Creating Change 2017 in person, which was exciting! She told me I was one of the first ten people to have reached out to her, and was interested in onboarding me as one of their sex educator ‘sex-perts’ on #unlearn-ing shame and stigma surrounding sex.
I hope to continue livestreaming workshops with the o.School team for a long time! Please ask me for an invite to the site, and tune in on Sunday, April 16 for my very first livestream, "Consent in the Way of the Prophet," which will bust some common myths!
If you’re wondering what o.School is, check out this helpful article!
National Masturbation Month
In 1995, Good Vibrations started celebrating National Masturbation Month as a reaction to then-Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders losing her job after stating that masturbation should be included in sexual education for youth. It was astonishing to see such harsh repercussions for such a casual and obvious statement. National Masturbation Month was founded to create a positive discussion around a universal and natural self-love phenomenon, and also attempted to reduce stigma around not just the action itself, but the entire conversation around the action!
Since one of my biggest passions is being dedicated to disseminating sexual education in order to enrich and improve sex lives, as well as raising awareness about health and other issues, I’ll address some common questions that people have about masturbation, and then list a few tips and tricks to have a successful self-love session!
Gender Neutral Sexytimes
In the last post on gender neutrality, I explained the societal constructs of sex and gender, and why it was important to keep language neutral and inclusive in safe spaces.
You may be a person who knows this already and so you might be thinking, “I use people’s preferred pronouns, I respect all genders, and I’m cognizant of the ways in which gender and sex are used to oppress people, but I very rarely get a chance to show people that I understand this because I don’t meet very many trans or nonbinary people.”
Well, actually, you can show off your knowledge on the daily! While this is not true for every single nonbinary person, it is very common for folks outside of the gender binary to listen for keywords to see if a person is open and accepting of their identity.
Gender neutrality is the concept of removing gendered language from everyday speech and communication. To understand neutrality and why it’s important, we must first understand gender.
Inclusionary Play Spaces
This post will switch between using person-first and identity-first language, be sure to ask an individual how they prefer to be referred to instead of assuming!
Inclusiveness should be very important to all folks intending to create safe spaces, not just advocates, and this blog advocates that sex positive and kinky spaces be open to individuals of all ethnicities, races, classes, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual and romantic orientations, and abilities.
Sometimes people with abilities different than our own are left out of the conversation and all the fun because we don’t realise our spaces aren’t accessible, and this blog post is going to give some pointers on how to make play spaces accessible to as many folks as possible!
More than Ramps
Sometimes, people think that if a space has a ramp, that’s the end of the accessibility conversation. People who use wheelchairs can get in, so they’ve done their job in making sure people can show up to the fun. This is a common misconception, mainly because the image we associate with disability is the blue wheelchair.
However, even for wheelchair users, a ramp is barely the beginning of making a space accessible -- are the doorways wide enough, if it’s a building with multiple levels, is there an elevator, is there an accessible bathroom in the building, etc. Consider instead the following image:
While this image won’t take the place of the wheelchair symbol anytime soon because it’s not as simple or clear, it definitely reminds people of the rest of the spectrum! There are hands signing, representing the d/Deaf community (why the capital letter?), braille, and a brain to represent the neurodivergent community (this includes the autistic spectrum, as well as people with mental illnesses and/or intellectual disabilities).